DAY 12-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR PROTECTION)

The bible says that He will, "give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot on a stone" (Psalm 91:11,12). Let's face it accidents happen and we are faced with risks and dangers daily. Driving a car, flying in a plane, and even walking down the street can pose danger. We must regularly pray for the safety of our loved ones. This is not to say that we can escape all accidents. However, if they do occur isn't it better to know that you've asked God to be in the midst of it with His power and presence. I will never forget driving down Lee Road one day when my car spun out of control in the pouring rain. It did a complete circle then I was broadsided by an oncoming vehicle. At the time I had praise and worship playing in my car. I recall, asking Jesus to help as the car spun. The car came to a complete halt and I didn't even know I was hit until I opened my car door and it dropped towards the ground. Amazingly, I never felt an impact. The accident occured but I was protected from bodily harm. I always try to pray for Neil's safety and my loved ones as much as I can. It's nearly impossible to pray about every specific danger but you can pray that God keeps your loved one from harm. Just yesterday, my father was outside doing yard work. He went inside to take a break and when he came back outside to continue working he noticed a huge branch laying in the yard. A large portion of the neighbor's oak tree had collapsed exactly where my father had been working. It took down a large portion of my father's fence and was a good foot and a half in diameter. That's not a small branch. Needless to say, we are thanking God for removing my father out of harms way and answering our prayers over our loved one. Be sure to cover your loved ones in a blanket of protection through prayer.

Prayer by: Stormie Omartian
Lord, I pray that You would protect (insert name of person you are praying for) from any accidents, diseases, dangers, or evil influences. Keep him safe, especially in cars and planes. Hide him from violence and the plans of the evil people. Wherever he walks, secure his steps. Keep him on Your path so that his feet don't slip (Psalm 17:5). If his foot does slip, hold him up by Your mercy (Psalm 94:18). Give him the wisdom and discretion that will help him walk safely and not fall into danger (Proverbs 3:21-23). Be his fortress, strength, shield, and stronghold (Psalm 18:2,3). make him to dwell in the shadow of Your wings (Psalm 91:1-2). Be his rock, salvation, and defense, so that he will not be moved or shaken (Psalm 62:6). I pray that even though bad things may be happening all around him, they will not come near him (Psalm 91:7). Save him from any plans of the enemy that seek to destroy his life (Psalm103:4). Preserve his going out and his coming in from this time forth and even forevermore (Psalm 121:8). AMEN!!!

DAY 11-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR HIS HEALTH)

Nutrition, exercise, supplements, and rest don't always fit into our busy schedules. Right? Wrong!!! That's the wrong type of thinking that get's us into some preventable health issues. We need to make taking care of our body's a priority. After all, without good health it is impossible to do and enjoy all the things we were so busy doing that we didn't have time to take care of ourselves.
One of the things that brings me great joy is to see Neil catching an amazing ride on his surfboard. It brings him such joy and that makes me happy! Surfing is a great outlet for Neil and provides him with exercise. It's my prayer that he will remain healthy enough to surf well into old age. Quickly, I learned that if I showed interest in what Neil enjoyed this would be reciprocated. So, I grabbed a board and began my surfing lessons within months of meeting Neil. It didn't take long for me to realize that he wasn't just splashing in the waves. What a great upper body workout paddling alone could be not to mention that it works the lower body as well. So, from that day on I encourage Neil to get out there and ride those waves. We started riding bikes together as a leisurely activity and hold each other accountable each morning to take supplements. Don't forget to rest as well. Getting the required amount of sleep each night is necessary for your body to rejuvenate and repair itself. And, a vacation filled with lots of R&R never hurt anybody. Taking care of yourself can be fun and it can be something you can do with your loved one.
Prayer by: Stormie Omartian
Lord, I pray for Your healing touch on (name of person you are praying for). Make every part of his body function the way You designed it to. Wherever there is anything out of balance, set it in perfect working order. Heal him of any disease, illness, injury, infirmity, or weakness. Strengthen his body to successfully endure his workload, and when he sleeps may he wake up completely rested, rejuvenated and refreshed. Give him a strong heart that doesn't fail. I don't want him to have heart failure at any time.
I pray that he will have the desire to take care of his body, to eat the kind of food that brings health, to get regular exercise, and avoid anything that would be harmful to him. Help him to understand that his body is Your temple and he should care for it as such (1 Corinthians 3:16). I pray that he will present it as a living sacrifice,, holy and acceptable to You (Romans 12:1).
When he is ill, I pray You will sustain him and heal him. Fill him with your joy to give him strength. Specifically, I pray for (mention any area of concern). Give him faith to say. "O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me" (Psalm 30:2). Thank You, Lord, that You are my Healer." I pray that my husband will live a long and healthy life and when death does come, may it be accompanied by peace and not unbearable suffering and agony. Thank You, Lord, that You will be there to welcome him into Your presence, and not a moment before Your appointed hour. AMEN!

DAY 10-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR CHOICES)

The choices a spouse makes in life effects the entire family. There are career choices, health choices, financial choices, relationship choices, and the list goes on. We must pray for God to give us discernment and wisdom while providing us with godly counsel. "A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel." (Proverbs 1:5) You can't make other people's choices for them but through prayer you can rest assured that you did your part. This brings forth a certain amount of peace and confidence in your spouse's decision making as well. Just today, Neil was faced with a financial decision concerning a project. He asked for my opinion and we discussed our choices. Ultimately, he made a decision based upon our options and we both have peace that as we lift up our decisions to God that good will come out of it. I encourage you to pray about your and your loved one's decisions. Learning to use discernment, counsel, and prayer to ensure that you make the best decisions possible!

Prayer by: Stormie Omartian
Lord, fill my husband with the fear of the Lord and give him wisdom for every decision he makes. May he reverence You and Your ways and seek to know Your truth. Give him discernment to make decisions based on Your revelation. Help him to make godly choices and keep him from doing anything foolish. Take foolishness out of his heart and enable him to quickly recognize error and avoid it. Open his eyes to clearly see the consequences of any anticipated behavior.
I pray that he will listen to godly counselors and not be a man who is unteachable. Give him strength to reject the counsel of the ungodly and hear Your counsel above all others. I declare that although "there are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the Lord's counsel-that will stand" (Proverbs 16:7), and in the morning, I pray he will do what's right rather than follow the leading of his own flesh. I know the wisdom of this world is foolishness with You, Lord (1 Corinthians 3:19). May he not buy into it, but keep his eyes on You and have ears to hear Your voice. AMEN!

DAY 9-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR PURPOSE)

"May He grant you according to your heart's desire, and fulfill all your purpose." Psalm 20:4 We are all called to a certain and unique purpose. Doubt or discouragement will most assuredly try to hinder the fulfillment of that purpose. This is why we must pray for our spouse or loved one in this area. While pressing towards our purpose, we must remember that timing is everything and God's timing is perfect. Learning to submit our purpose to God and trust that it will happen in His timing will help alleviate any discouragement. There is a certain peace, happiness, and confidence that surrounds somebody who is living their purpose. This is evident in my own husband's life when he is working on his music. Creating music is a huge part of Neil's life. He is at peace and happy when he is able to create a piece. My prayer is that he will use his talent and gift to glorify God. My part as his wife is to encourage, support, pray for, and help him in the pursuit of fulfilling his purpose.

Prayer: by Stormie Omartian

Lord, I pray that (name of person you are praying for) will clearly hear the call You have on his life. Help him to realize who he is in Christ and give him certainty that he was created for a high purpose. May the eyes of his understanding be enlightened so that he will know what is the hope of Your calling (Ephesians 1:18).
Lord, when You call us, You also enable us. Enable him to walk worthy of his calling and become the man of God You made him to be. Continue to remind him of what You've called him to and don't let him get sidetracked with things that are unessential to Your purpose. Strike down discouragement so that it will not defeat him. Lift his eyes above the circumstances of the moment so he can see the purpose for which You created him. Give him patience to wait for Your perfect timing. I pray that the desires of his heart will not be in conflict with the desires of Yours. May he seek You for direction, and hear when You speak to his soul. AMEN!

DAY 8-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR HIS FEAR)

There are two types of fear in this world. The first type can actually protect you and keep you from acting irrationally. It's an instinct embedded in us which is healthy and can actually keep us from harm. On the other extreme you have the fear that can paralyze and keep you from moving forward in life. If we are not careful we can be overtaken with "what if's!" What if I lose my job? What if I fail? What if the money doesn't come in? What if, what if, what if....? These are the types of fear that seek to worry and hold you captive. Break away from unhealthy fear through prayer, faith, speaking only positive words, and experiencing the perfect love of God.

Prayer-by Stormie Omartian
Lord, You've said in Your Word that "there is no fear in love: but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love" (1 John 4:18). I pray You will perfect my husband in Your love so that tormenting fear finds no place in him. I know You have not given him a spirit of fear. You've given him power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). I pray in the name of Jesus that fear will not rule over my husband. Instead, may Your Word penetrate every fiber of his being, convincing him that Your love for him is far greater than anything he faces and nothing can separate him from it.
I pray that he will acknowledge You as a Father whose love is unfailing, whose strength is without equal, and in whose presence there is nothing to fear. Deliver him this day from fear that destroys and replace it with godly fear (Jeremiah 32:40). Teach him Your way, O Lord. Help him to walk in Your truth. Unite his heart to fear Your name (Psalm 86:11). May he have no fear of men, but rise up and boldly say, "The Lord is my helper: I will not fear. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6) "How great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear You" (Psalm 31:19).
I say to you (husband or person you are praying for), "Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God: He will come and save you" (Isaiah 35:4). "In righteousness you shall be established: you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear" (Isaiah 54:14). "You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday" (Psalm 91:5,6). May the Spirit of the Lord rest upon you, "the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord" (Isaiah 11:2). AMEN!

DAY 7-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR HIS MIND)

Why is it important to pray for our husband's or loved one's mind? Because, it is in the mind where feelings of depression, anger, fear, rejection, hopelessness, loneliness, and many diseases start. It's important to get a hold of how you think! "To be carnally minded is death, but to be peacefully minded is life and peace" (Roman 8:6). At times, we may hear negative words like: it's hopeless, failure, or throw in the towel. These are all words that the enemy wants us to entertain our minds with and believe. But, God desires for our minds to be filled with words like: there's hope, possibility, and over comer. Another tool you can use to help your loved one attain a sound mind is by speaking the word of God over them. It's amazing what a message of hope can do for someone who is feeling overwhelmed, burdened, or desperate. It has the ability to pull them out of that despair into a whole new arena of possibilities. Help your spouse or loved one silence the voice of the enemy and attain peace by praying for them.

Prayer by: Stormie Omartian
Lord, I pray for Your protection on my husband's mind. Shield him from the lies of the enemy. Help him to clearly discern between Your voice and any other, and show him how to take every thought captive as You have instructed us to do. May he thirst for Your Word and hunger for Your truth so that he can recognize wrong thinking. Give him strength to resist lying thoughts. Remind him that he has the mind of Christ. Where the enemy's lies have already invaded his thoughts, I push them back by inviting the power of the Holy Spirit to cleanse his mind. Lord, You have given me authority " over all the power of the enemy" (Luke 10:19). By that authority given to me in Jesus Christ, I command all lying spirits away from my husband's mind. I proclaim that God has given (name of person you are praying for) a sound mind. He will not entertain confusion, but live in clarity. He will not be tormented with impure, evil, negative, or sinful thoughts, but be transformed by the renewing of his mind, that he may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2).
Enable him to "be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might" (Ephesians 6:10). Help him to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let his request be made known to You: and may Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard his heart and mind through Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4:6,7). And finally, whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, having virtue, or anything praiseworthy, let him think on these things (Phillipians 4:8).

DAY 6-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR THE REMOVAL OF TEMPTATION)

Temptation can come in many forms: some can be lured by money and power, alcohol or drugs, food addictions, or lust and that's just to name a few. So, we must come to the realization that this world is full of temptations. The thing we must learn is how to handle them when they arise. This is where prayer, watchfulness, and open communication become imperative. Luke 22:40 says to "pray that you may not enter into temptation." And Mark 14:38 says, "the spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak."
Have a heart to heart talk with your spouse and confess any weaknesses so that you may pray for one another. If this is not possible at this time, then encourage your spouse to get together with trusted believers with whom he/she can pray.

Prayer by: Stormie Omartian
Lord, I pray that You would strengthen my husband (name of person you are praying for) to resist any temptation that comes his way. Stamp it out of his mind before it ever reaches his heart or personal experience. Lead him not into temptation, but deliver him from evils such as adultery, pornography, drugs, alcohol, food addiction, gambling, and perversion. Remove temptation especially in the area of (name specific temptation). Make him strong where he is weak. Help him to rise above anything that erects itself as a stronghold in his life. May he say, "I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away: it shall not cling to me" (Psalm 101:3).
Lord, You've said that "Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls" (Proverbs 25:28). I pray that (person you are praying for) will not be broken down by the power of evil, but raised up by the power of God. Establish a wall of protection around him. Fill him with Your Spirit and flush out all that is not of You. Help him to take charge over his own spirit and have self-control to resist anything and anyone who becomes a lure. May he "abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good" (Romans 12:9). I pray that he will be repulsed by tempting situations. Give him courage to reject them. Teach him to walk in the Spirit so he will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. AMEN!

DAY 5-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR HIS AFFECTION)

AFFECTION: Proceeding from affection; indicating love; tender; as, the affectionate care of a parent; affectionate countenance, message, language. Affection is not the same as sex and distinguishing the two is vital. I like to think of affection of a way of displaying your love for another person through an act of kindness. We can give affection to others simply by giving someone a much needed hug, pat on the back, or encouraging words. I encourage you to tell that someone you are praying for them and they are cared for.

As I read on affection, my attention was brought to the repeated times Neil has come home from work dropped his gear on the table and proceeded to give me a kiss. He does this daily regardless of my mood. And, has even done this at times when I may have snapped at him minutes prior to walking in the door. It melts away the stress and tension of the day and leaves a door open for peaceful communication between the two of us. I applaud him for his consistency in the area of showing me affection. Having experienced prior relationships where little or no affection was ever shown my appreciation and understanding of how important affection is has grown. Have you shown someone you love the affection they deserve lately? Told a parent how much you appreciate their guidance or a friend their support? They will appreciate it and your relationship will only strengthen because of it.


Lord, I pray for open physical affection between my husband and me. Enable each of us to lay aside self-consciousness or apathy and be effusive in our display of love. Help us to demonstrate how much we care for and value each other. Remind us throughout each day to affectionately touch one another in some way. Help us to not be cold, undemonstrative, uninterested, or remote. Enable us to be warm, tender, compassionate, loving, and adoring. Break through any hardheadedness on our part that refuses to change and grow. If one of us is less affectionate to the other's detriment, bring us into balance.
Where any lack of affection has planted a negative view of marriage in our children, or taught them an incorrect way of relating to a marriage partner, help us to model the right way so that they can observe it. Show us how to openly confess our errors to them and demonstrate our commitment to live differently.
Change our habits of indifference or busyness. May we not so take each other for granted that we don't make the effort to reach out and touch one another with affection. Help us not to weaken the marriage through neglect of this vital means of communication. I pray that we always "greet one another with a kiss of love" (1 Peter 5:14). I know that only the transforming power of the Holy Spirit can make changes that last. I trust You to transform us and make us the husband and wife You called us to be. AMEN!

DAY 4-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR HIS SEXUALITY)

Yes, I said pray for his sexuality. I love that this book teaches one to pray for such a broad array of areas within an individual's life. Knowing that men and women often view sex differently is a very important factor to remember. Let's face it, men and women are just different in many ways and that's okay! Omartian states, "For a wife, sex come out of affection. She doesn't want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, uncared for, or abandoned. But for a husband, sex is pure need. His eyes, ears, brain, and emotions get clouded if he doesn't have that release. He has trouble hearing anything his wife says or seeing what she needs when that area of his being is neglected." Therefore, in order to protect, keep communication flowing, and keep peace in the marriage it's important to remember what the other person's needs are. It's, also, imperative to try to meet those needs. They may not be the same as yours but that's okay. The bible states, "The wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (1 Corinthians 7:4,5)

Prayer:by, Stormie Omartian:

Lord, bless my husband's sexuality and make it an area of great fulfillment for him. Restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced. Protect us from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest. I pray that we make time for one another, communicate our true feelings openly, and remain sensitive to what each other needs.
Keep us sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Remove from our midst the effects of any sexual experience-in thought or deed that happened outside of our relationship. Take away anyone or anything from our lives that would inspire temptation to infidelity. Help us to "abstain from sexual immorality" so that each of us will know "how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor." (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). I pray that we will desire each other and no one else. Show me how to make my self attractive and desirable to him and be the kind of partner he needs. I pray that neither of us will ever be tempted to think about seeking fulfillment elsewhere.
I realize that an important part of my ministry to my husband is sexual. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons. I commit this area of our lives to You, Lord. May it be continually new and alive. Make it all that You created it to be. AMEN!

DAY 3-POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE (PRAY FOR HIS FINANCES)

Ok, so it's day 3 and we've already seen God move through our prayers in Neil's work. This is pretty exciting! Last night was a prayer for his finances. They say finances is one of the number one causes for marital issues so pay attention married folks and pray! There are three key kingdom factors in finances. They are obedience, giving, and gratefulness. Thankfully, Neil is obedient to giving and has one of the most grateful hearts I've ever witnessed. Therefore, I pray that God only increases those qualities in him. I've learned never to question Neil's desire to give and to trust him as the head of the household with our finances. This doesn't mean that we don't make decisions together regarding our finances. But, at times I've just had to say ok honey I trust that you will make the best decision. All of our needs are always met and we've never lacked a meal. Glory to God! It's also not to say, that you won't ever encounter financial hardship. Most of us have hit a financial boulder in our lives but it's how you go over that boulder that counts. Also, what you learn from it.

"Do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you." Luke 12:29-31

"I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread." Psalm 37:25


"My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19


Prayer:by Stormie Omartian
Lord, I commit our finances to You. Be in charge of them and use them for Your purposes. May we both be good stewards of all that You give us, and walk in total agreement as to how it is to be dispersed. I pray that we will learn to live free of burdensome debt. Where we have not been wise bring restoration and give us guidance. Show me how I can help increase our finances and not decrease them unwisely. Help us to remember that all we have belongs to You, and to be grateful for it.
I pray that Neil (person you are praying for) will find it easy to give to You and to others as You have instructed in Your Word. Give him wisdom to handle money wisely. Help him make good decisions as to how he spends. Show him how to plan for the future. I pray that he will find the perfect balance between spending needlessly and being miserly. May he always be paid well for the work he does, and may his money not be stolen, lost, devoured, destroyed, or wasted. Multiply it so that what he makes will go a long way. I pray that he will not be anxious about finances, but will seek Your Kingdom first, knowing that as he does, we will have all we need (Luke 12:31). AMEN!

Power of a Praying Wife- Praying for his work (Day 2)

Praying for Neil's work is a must especially in the field of music. My prayer is for Neil to be in God's will concerning the music industry. That means being involved with the right people! I've realized how important it is to pray for wisdom as he instructs students, balance in his career, favor, and success to just name a few. Neil is a dedicated worker and a faithful provider which in turn gives me a sense of stability. He is deserving of my time in prayer in this area. I encourage you to pray for your spouse or loved one in their career as well.

Prayer:by Stormie Omartian

Lord, I pray that You would bless the work of my husband's hands. May his labor bring not only favor, success, and prosperity, but great fulfillment as well. If the work he is doing is not in line with Your perfect will for his life, reveal it to him. Show him what he should do differently and guide him down the right path. Give him strength, faith, and a vision for the future so he can rise above any propensity for laziness. May he never run from work out of fear, selfishness, or a desire to avoid responsibility. On the other hand, help him to see that he doesn't have to work himself to death for man's approval, or grasp for gain beyond what is a gift from You. Give him the ability to enjoy his success without striving for more. Help him to excel, but free him from the pressure to do so.
I pray that You will be Lord over his work, and may he bring You into every aspect of it. Give him enough confidence in the gifts You've place in him to be able to seek, find, and do good work. Open up doors of opportunity for him that no man can close. Develop his skills so that they grow more valuable with each passing year. Show me what I can do to encourage him.
I pray that his work will be established, secure, successful, satisfying, and financially rewarding. May he not be "lagging in diligence, but fervent in spirit, serving the Lord" (Romans 12:11). Let him be like a tree planted by the stream of Your living water, which brings forth fruit in due season. May he never wither under pressure, but grow strong and prosper (Psalm 1:3). AMEN!

A Praying Wife!

Upon looking for a good book to read I stumbled across "The Power of A Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. My first thought was hmmm...Neil would appreciate this book. So, I figured if he would appreciate it then he might as well do this with me. Haha We started reading it the other night. One chapter an evening for the next 30 days. Yes, the prayers are directed for the wife to pray for her husband but Neil is enjoying the book and started praying for me by simply applying my name in the prayers. This can be done for anyone not just a spouse. We quickly realized that our prayers for one another were probaly lacking in detail and we should step it up. After all, we are one. And, we do love each other very much. Also, prayer draws us closer to God and we love Him!

The first prayer was long and quite honestly I started to feel slightly convicted. Maybe I have been rushing through my prayers and not covering the areas that I needed too. Sadly, this wasn't how I wanted to spend time with God either...rushing? After all, He always makes time for me! So, we dove into the first prayer. Immediately, it was about changing me. How ironic, I'm supposed to be praying for my husband but this prayer was all about changing me!!! But, that's the way it's supposed to be. We must look at ourselves and ask God to touch the areas within us before we ask Him to touch others.

BTW...Neil LOVED this prayer. haha

Here it is:by Stormie Omartian

Lord, Help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22,23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.
Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do-totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.
Make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.
I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.
Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other's faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another(Roman 14:19). May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." (1Corinthians 1:10).
I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership.. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe Your life into this marriage.
Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me. AMEN!!!

Help for a Broken Heart

Trying to console someone when they loose a loved one is never easy. Every individual deals with loss differently and are almost guaranteed to go through phases of grieving. This piece is primarily focused on the loss of a child but in many ways can pertain to the loss of any loved one. I was prompted to write this not only because of the things we've endured with losing our son but because of the things I've seen others endure upon the loss of their loved ones. When my son, Chase, passed away there were a whirlwind of emotions that engulfed my entire being. We had an overwhelming amount of generosity, love, and support showered upon us by our family and closest friends. Those acts of love will be forever embedded in our hearts and memories. I will never forget family that supported us and the friends that rushed to the hospital to pray and hold my hand. Quickly, we learned who our dearest friends were. They are the one's who showed up when it wasn't necessarily convenient nor easy. It's just been over a year since Chase left our arms and went to Heaven. The Lord has been faithful to bring comfort to our hearts and we are forever grateful for even the brief amount of time that we got to share with Chase. I always said, our son did more on this earth in seven months than some do in a lifetime. His story continues to touch lives today. We are still counting the souls that have been changed and the grieving parents who have been comforted by Chase's story. Just recently, we had a young girl contact us and tell us how Chase's story is helping her to cope with the loss of her baby. Chase was a blessing in ways that only Neil, I, and God will ever know.

There are things that people can say or do to help grieving parents and there are things they should refrain from. Speaking from experience, sometimes silence can be the worst enemy. Silence can make someone feel alone or as if their loved one is forgotten. I understand that most people do this in an attempt to spare the person from pain but in fact the silence just causes more pain. On the other hand, I've had to endure things people have said wishing they would have just remained silent. It is always wise to think before one speaks because there are those cases where words can cause more pain than the silence.

While, many of the things said are meant to be helpful they can sometimes be very hurtful. What must be remembered is that when you encounter a grieving parent you are talking to someone who has been shattered. When a parent loses a child they loose their future as far as that child is concerned. Of course, as believers we know that one day we will be reunited but it still doesn't eliminate the immediate feeling that "someone is missing." This is not a time to try to figure out why these parents have to endure this pain. For they are too busy trying to figure out how they are going to get up the next day. It didn't take long for good, well meaning folks to say things that riveted my soul. It's difficult for me to write some of the things that have been said to us or that I've heard said to other parents who have lost a child. It's so unfathomable that I cannot bear to put them into permanently typed words. To think or verbally voice that someone deserves or brought such a loss upon themselves is insensitive. Compassion is the key to interacting with those who are grieving. From an earthly standpoint, Chase passed simply because his lungs didn't develop properly and were not going to develop. That's the best explanation the doctor could give us. From a spiritual standpoint, Neil and I have accepted that God had strategically placed Chase here for a specific purpose and he fulfilled that purpose and went ahead of us. The story of Job and his long-suffering is explicit in showing us that God sends misfortunes not just for sins. But that sometimes God will allow misfortunes even to the righteous for an even greater confirmation in goodness, for the shaming of the Devil, and for the glorification of the righteousness of God. The story of Job has been a huge comfort to Neil and I. Job is a story of a good man who loses all his children, property, and is afflicted with disease. His friends assumed that God always rewards good and punishes evil therefore believing that Job must have brought this upon himself through sin. What they didn't see was that God allowed the Devil to take from Job to test his faith (Job 1:9-12). Job proves to remain faithful to God even through such tragedy. In the end Job is restored to his former condition and with greater prosperity than before! God reprimands Job's friends for not understanding the meaning behind Job's suffering.
We serve a wise and awesome God who always WINS in the end! He is faithful to restore if we are faithful to believe.

Sending an invitation to parties is a wonderful thing to do for a grieving parent as to not make them feel excluded. However, it is probaly best if presented by telling the parent you understand if it is too soon to attend such an event especially if the loss has been recent and the event may intensify the grief. Sensitivity to holidays is especially needed. Take time to acknowledge that grieving parent on Mother's or Father's Day...they are still a parent. There were well meaning mothers who threw their babies into my arms thinking this would somehow help. I didn't have the heart to tell them it made me want to run for the nearest exit. There is an age factor that will trigger parents who have lost a child. Whenever, I see a child that is the age Chase would be I automatically think about who Chase would be at that age. I find it's a natural reaction for someone who has lost a child.

There are many things you can do to help a grieving parent:

Call or send a card to them on holidays or anniversaries pertaining to their loved one. Everyone, likes to know that their loved one was special enough to be remembered. The first anniversary of Chase's passing we received one card and I was thankful for it. No matter how many years pass that will always be their child.

Do something special in remembrance of their loved one. My husband bought me a beautiful bracelet engraved with Chase's name on it for Valentine's Day.

Be sensitive and above all understanding to their emotions especially in the early phases of grieving.

The main keys for helping a grieving parent are patience, love, compassion, remembrance, and sensitivity.

Be careful not to exclude them from events by not inviting them. Just personalize the invite so they know you understand if it's too soon for them to attend such an event.

Do what you say you are going to do. We had people tell us how they were coming to the hospital or bringing us food only to not show at all. This is very disappointing especially when you are grieving and searching for any support you can find.

Encourage the person grieving to exercise or perhaps join you in an activity that promotes exercise.

Allow others to talk about, remember, and honor their loved one in anyway they see fit. It's healing.

PRAY!!! Continually pray for peace, comfort, and healing.

~Our love and prayers to all who have endured the loss of a child or loved one. May you find comfort in knowing that through Jesus we will be reunited one day never to be separated again. May the peace, comfort, and love of our Heavenly Father be with you through the tough times. And, may the beautiful memories of your loved one live on in your mind and heart along with those who held your loved one dear. May any sadness that trys to find its way in be replaced with knowing that you had the honor of loving someone so beautiful!~
*We love you Chase- xo